I have really not been doing well at keeping up with my blog this last week or so. The same is true for the journal I started writing in at the suggestion of my writing instructor. I'm not even sure why. I haven't been busy in the least. I have felt very strange though. I can't exactly describe the feeling. The best I can come up with is that I feel sort of lost and aimless.
I'm not sure but I think there's a chance it's just wintertime blues. I've noticed these in the past but was usually too busy to pay much attention. I'd just turn up the radio and keep driving and they'd eventually go away. I wonder if that was something I loved about driving. Going 70mph along the highway most of life's problems seem remote, as if you can leave them behind and they can't keep up with you.
My last assignment for the creative writing class is due before next Tuesday. This one can be submitted to the "booth" where it is available for other students to critique, instead of being visible only to the teacher as all the other assignments have been. I'm still trying to decide which past assignment I want to rewrite for this. (That's what we're to do this week, take past work from the class and make it better using what we've learned.) I'm interested to read and critique what others have written as well. Then at the beginning of November I'll start another class, this one a bit more in depth.
I didn't sign up for the second one until I'd been at the first one for a few weeks, so I could get a feel for how useful the classes were and see how much I enjoyed them. I've liked the creative writing course very much so I'm following it up with a Fiction 1 course, that deals with writing short works of fiction. I find it highly amusing that one of the last suggestions of the instructor of my current class was to start a weblog. Heh. Little ahead of things there!
Aside from writing class, I haven't been doing much of anything. I feel as if I *should* be doing something, but I'm not sure what and the effort of doing anything seems too much. Also, my balance and double vision seem worse lately. I'm not sure what to think of that. Problems with my vision have come and gone, come and gone, ever since the onset of this blasted disease. I'm assuming the double vision will straighten out again, as it did before, and haven't bothered to talk to my neurologist about it yet since it's only slightly worse and even when it was far more horrible he told me there isn't much that can be done except to just wait it out and perform surgery if it never clears up.
As far as the balance goes, I wonder if I just haven't been up and around enough lately. As much time as I spend on the computer and reading or watching movies maybe my body just forgot what little it did remember about how to walk without falling over. Speaking of that, I did actually lose my balance to the point of falling the other day. I think I scared my poor cat to death. He bolted from the kitchen as if someone had set his tail on fire. That was a huge help in glossing over the soreness in my knees from falling and the embarrassment of having fallen in the first place. He looked so funny when frightened that all I could do was laugh. I'd highly recommend cat-therapy to other MS patients.